The burden of humility

I am Back, seems to be the biggest craze on social networking sites. Now that the holidays season is over, people are returning to their regular lives. Some are coming back from their homes, some from their natives, others from tours. I personally am coming back from the loo. Not that I spent my entire vacation there but in this context it counts since before writing this I was taking the trash out.
Now that we have established where I am coming from let us move on to the topic of today, humility. How does a person stay humble while extolling his achievements? When you are with your peers in front of whom you have to say what u have achieved, how do you do it without getting labeled as a snob? Let us consider Mr. Obama and some situations he might face.
‘Hi, I am the President of the U.S.A, the most powerful country in the world’. Snob!
‘Hi, I am the people’s choice to lead the greatest country in the world’. Snob!
‘Hi, I am the President of the U. S.A’. Snob!
‘Hi, I am the President’. Snob!
‘Hi, I dunno why the people chose me but I am stuck with this job now’. Idiot!!
In such situations I have often found that not being forthright helps. Don’t start telling about yourself, like for instance
‘Hi, I am Obama. Who are you?’
This works most of the time but say Obama came across the Chinese premier,
‘Hi, I am Obama. Who are you?’
‘Yes, that’s right. Hu I are’ (He is a Chinese commie, how good can his English be?)
Then what does one do, or how does one say what he has to? The objective must be to coax the person in front to ask you the question. In that case you are merely answering his question, so you wouldn’t have done it otherwise and hence no reason to be called a snob. So we can start off by asking him what we want him to ask us and hope for reciprocation.
‘Hi, I am Obama and you are?’
This is a good ploy, until you apply this to Fidel Castro.
‘Hi, I am Obama and you are?’
‘Yes, I am Cuba’ (80 years of smoking Cubans, god knows what he hears)
So now we have exhausted almost all our options, we come to the final one. Don’t speak until spoken unto.
‘ ‘.
‘Oh you poor thing, are you mute?’
‘No, ma’am. I am Obama’.
‘Never heard of the disease son, but I am sure you will get well soon’
That’s all options exhausted. So now that we have confirmed there is no way to say anything without being misinterpreted I am gonna say it anyway.
I got the results of my CAT exam today. Got 4 calls from Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Calcutta and from Kozhikode(I got B,A,C,K). (Surprised look) Snob!?